Friday, August 27, 2010

post 1

today it became aparent to me, im living in a stagnant boring life with little more to do other than click clack away on my keyboard. i have no aparent social abilities. is this my fault or am i merely a product of a technological age where people can go about living their lives without ever truly knowing a neighbor or another person? everything i need to buy i do online. i can work online if necessary, but what kind of life is that? i find myself living a quasi life of pseudo escapism, constantly attempting to drown out my real problems by escaping into a foreign stress free fantastical world. things like video games, books, tv  shows they are all nothing but distractions. and even when you are trying to escape the toils of life, there is STILL somebody profiting off of you. this entire world is dog eat dog and its sickening. i dont want to eat dogs i want to pet their soft fur. why is everyone out to profit off the next guy? why am i so depressed. im unsatisfied with this world. idk if its because as a child and adolescent i was the victim of advertising and media manipulation portrayed by the likes of disney and nickelodeon hollywood productions and other things, where life is portrayed in an idealist setting where romance always happens, things like pirates of the caribean where men live out their lives adventuring, what i wouldnt do to go back, who knows when. anytime prior to 1500ce. to be able to live in a world where men DID things. and they were proud of it. when i think of my prospective life ahead of me, probably ending up working in some office editting tps reports from 9 to 5 and then going home to escape for a few brief hours before sleeping and doing it again the next day. i become entrenched by an extreme feeling of dread. why cant i do what all my favorite heroes in books do? why cant something wonderful happen to me, i can go off and just DO something. see the entire world. walk through the desert on a camel. drive through a jungle in a jeep through some guerilla warfare zone in the middle of the congo in an attempt to transport some blood diamonds, something BAD ASS. i wish i wasnt writing this right now. if i was completely ignorant of this keyboard, i KNOW my life would be so much more fulfilling. spending everyday outside on some adventure or other, climbing the old rusting ladder reaching upto the tower overlooking the railroad tracks, going over to the river and swimming to those uninhabited islands that are inthe middle of it but are full of plants and fauna, all these things... im just rambling on, just ramble on


  1. nice blog!

    please check out mine

  2. How old are? You sound like me at 17 or so, which is frightening b/c you also sound like me now at 25 :-( Depression is a bitch! Looking forward to what else you have to say =) Please check out my blog if you get a chance:

  3. lol @ gregory. if you like cameras at all, check out my blog